i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
