I accidentally had phone sex last night
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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