I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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