I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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