is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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