We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
my poor anus
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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