Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
