The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
