I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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