Your tits are I can't wait for
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
