Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Its about making memories worth repressing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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