perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize