you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Someone shattered a urinal.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
