dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
