youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
