Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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