So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize