i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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