I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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