youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
