too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
