So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
