Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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