1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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