I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
