No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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