Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
