11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
