Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
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Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize