in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize