He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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