Where is the hickey?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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