I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
