You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
