We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
