you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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