Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I understand Curling. That high.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
