I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
