so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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