Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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