Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
