we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
