just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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