i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
