it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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