so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
