dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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