and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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