Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
