Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize