The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
