I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
