in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
