Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips