i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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