moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he thought i was a dude.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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