Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
