it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
