his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
