I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
